An actor's dreams and doubts ADVENT CALENDAR!!

 

Dear readers,

I am proud to present An Actor’s dreams and doubts ADVENT CALENDAR!!

One of the best things about being an actor in Amsterdam is the international community. I have friends here from all over the world and we are all united in our passion for acting and creativity. It is a true gift and I want to share it with all of you in my blog starting December 1st.

Each day before Xmas eve one of my friends will tell you a story. It will be something related to acting or something related to Xmas or both. It can be a short story, a personal memory or something specific from the country where they are from. They are free to tell what they want, free to use their creativity. I am very happy that so many of my friends want to take part in this and I can't wait to read their stories.

The kick-off is tomorrow, don't miss a single day!

 

Sickness beats the nonsense but kills the nerves

I survived even though my voice was gone, I had a fever. A few hours before the show one of the slippers was still not done and I had to embroider that last tulip for the scene. Cristina met me at the station to help me carry my bags.




Props in the making

Sometimes being sick and even hangover helps when performing. Not too sick of course but sick enough not to worry about all those thoughts that normally chaos my head the days before a show. Thoughts like: Will I manage? Why do I put myself up to this again and again (even though I know the answer)? Is it good enough to be put up on stage (according to my own standards)? Will I manage to get passed that passage in the text where I always get lost? Last minute arrangements stress me out normally.

Sickness beats the nonsense out of me but it also kills the nerves. And I need those nerves to be on top of my game.




Cristina and me in The Stronger by August Strindberg

The show is over. We had our last performance last night. Debby Mulholland our director did great and so did all of the actors and many people in the audience were impressed by what they saw. It has been great fun working with everyone.

Looking back at my own performance. The second night went better than the first because I had more energy. I didn't reach perfect, but it went well. Oh come Lina, some would say, you did great!! Thanks for that. It's just that I know what it feels like when I am there 1000% and I always aim for that. That is what motivates me. That is what keeps me going. I am not beating myself up about the fact that it wasn't perfect. It was good. I had a lot of fun. I am very happy that so many people came to watch us. Now I am looking forward to start my next project.




Amélie and Ayca preparing backstage

Showtime!

The nerves are starting to kick in as we are approching show time. Will all the hard work pay off?

Getting good directions as an actor is gold. Some directors are better at giving directions than others. To follow the directions might sometimes mean killing your darlings which is not always easy. You have been working on a piece for some time and the idea of how it has to be has started rooting in your head.

This happens all the time and it is part of the process. Yesterday in class during the rehearsal of my scene I got some good directions. It took a while to sink in. It felt awkward at first and I was wondering how I could follow the directions without being false on stage. Now after a day I think I will be able to and I think that it will add a lot to the scene. Finding that balance and making what someone else tells you to do your own is a challenge.

If you want to see the result, if I actually manage to make my scene interesting, you can find all the details of our upcoming show below. This nice flyer is made by Amélie Onzon. If you want to see some more of her work have a look at her website. You can find the link under 'I can recommend' to the right.

I hope to see you at the show.

PLEASE NOTE THAT THE NUMBER TO BOOK TICKETS IS THIS ONE 020 6264695. NOT THE NUMBER ON THE FLYER.

Flyer by Amélie Onzon for Mulholland Academy.

Flyer by Amélie Onzon for Mulholland Academy

Mothers ♥

This has been a remarkable weekend. New life happens every day but it is not that often that you get to experience it up close. This weekend I became an aunt for the third time.

Mothers are amazing. They carry us for nine months and then suffer immense amounts of pain when pushing us out into the world.

My teacher used to say that as actors we have to show our warts and bumps because the imperfections are what makes us interesting. It is a superficial industry in many ways so this is not always easy. We go through a lot of effort to hide our imperfections instead of embracing them.

She said we have to get in there, we have to do the work and we have to get dirty if we want to be good at what we do. We struggle a lot with this. It sometimes hurts to be good.

Next time I am afraid of showing my warts and bumps and to get really dirty I will think of all mothers around me and my own. A mother giving birth does the work and shows all her warts and bumps. She can't afford to think twice about getting dirty. She does the work like no other.  

Did you ever ask you mother how it was for her to carry you for nine months and how it was when you were born?     

 

Playing the scales

Emotions, sometimes they take over and sometimes we try to hide them. Some say they never get angry, others never cry. Jacqueline (my late Meisner teacher) used to say that an actor who denies an emotion is comparable with a musician who refuses to play the whole scale on their instrument. The musician refuses to play C and the actor doesn't want to cry. Something vital is missing.

I think it goes for non actors as well. If you don't have access to all your emotions something is not right.

Sometimes we get stuck in our emotional preparation because something is missing. I am working on a one act play called the Stronger from 1888 by the Swedish author and playwright August Strindberg. In short it is a woman confronting her friend and colleague whom she suspects of having an affair with her husband. I had done my script analysis and I could pick out a range of emotions from the text. Hate, the feeling of betrayal, revenge, the will to humiliate. All of these emotions are very strong and yet there was something missing.

In class (at Mulholland Academy) Tuesday night I presented my script analysis to the class. That's when Debby, my teacher and friend said "she loved her". Everything fell into place. All the emotions that I had been able to abstract from the text were of course rooted in the love she used to feel for her friend. The betrayal became so much bigger and it was so obvious and I wondered why I hadn't thought of it.

  

 

Lines, lines, lines...

Studying lines is probably one of the most boring parts of the acting process but knowing your lines inside out, backwards, forwards and upside-down gives you a lot of freedom to explore the piece that you are working on.

I meet many people who are fascinated by the fact that actors can learn lines. That is often one of the first questions that I get when I say I am an actor: ‘How to you manage to learn your lines?’ The truth is that anyone can do it. The biggest issue with lines is that beginners often underestimate the importance of how good you have to know your lines.

Everyone has their own preference when it comes to learning and working with lines. Some want to rehears with the text in their hand. Some mark places in the text that they want to stress and some are very good at this. I want to learn my lines like a robot. I don't want to add emotion to the text until I know it inside out. I don’t want it to sound like a line reading. I don’t want to decide which words to stress. I let the emotion take care of that later. Meisner said that the text is a canoe that floats on a river that is your emotions.

Sometimes you have to accept that you don't have time to learn your lines that well and you have to rehears anyway.

The text often goes out the window when  you add the emotional preparation of your character. It's when you know you text so well that you don't have to stop and think about what to say next that the magic happens.

Personally I am very bad at cold readings, which make auditions very hard, but when I know my lines my strength is when the emotions kick in.

 

 

 

 

 

Susan Sarandon ♥

I just saw a Dutch program called College tour on Nederland 3 (national television in the Netherlands but the program is in English) where students get the chance to interview influential people. This week the guest was actor Susan Sarandon. What an inspiring woman she is. I am not sure if people outside of the Netherlands can watch this but give it a try. I will watch it a few more times. It is one of those programs you can watch again and again and you will be encouraged because sometimes you tend to forget what is important. I am not writing anything else right now but I am giving the word to her:

http://www.uitzendinggemist.nl/afleveringen/1301400

Please let me know if it worked outside of the Netherlands.