Thursday, October 25, 2012

Pinch = Ouch!


It comes naturally to scream, swear or cry when someone hurts you physically, whether it is on purpose or by accident. It is a reflex. You would think that the same should go for when someone hurts your feelings. Some people do show their reflex when this happens and I say good for them. What happens to me in real life and I think for many of you is that we go up in our heads and we try to figure out how to behave when it happens. I don't think I am the only one who after a while in such a situations, when it is too late, comes up with something brilliant to say but then the moment is of course already gone.
Wouldn't it be nice if that reflex actually kicked in and you could land that brilliant reply that will make the other person's chin drop, once in a while? If you pinch me I will ouch. 'The pinch and the ouch' is part of the Meisner technique and one of many reasons why I cannot get enough of it. In class we are provided with a safe environment where we learn to listen and answer truthfully and where the opposite of being truthful is being polite. We learn not to go up into our heads trying to figure out what a civilized person would do. We learn to trust the impulse and just react to what we get from the person in front of us, in the moment. Reacting on your instinct, showing truthful behavior and listening to the other person, I find essential elements if you want to become a good actor. For most of us this takes time.
We have spent years trying to fit in to all kinds of social situations that very often include taking shit from people around us. I think the word school says enough. It is not so strange that we have learned to restrain some of our emotions.

It has become instinct to deflect behavior from other people. For me it is often harder to connect to compliments from others compared to when the other person is being mean. The other person says "You're cute" and really means it and all of a sudden there is a big glass wall in front of me. And that deflecting smile that has become a mechanism for me spreads like an ugly grin on my face and I panic a bit. There I am, served with first class behavior on a silver plate and I am totally blocked. "That should have gone up our ass a mile!" my teacher used to say and then laugh with the greatest smile. I hope she forgives me for quoting her here. I know that was not language that she used outside of class but it was so to the point and we all understood exactly what she meant.  
We all struggle with being on the receiving end of other peoples behavior in different ways, facing different kind of behavior in different ways. So we get pinched again and again until we learn how to ouch.


 
 

2 comments:

  1. Very true indeed! We must reclaim our inner truth and honour it. Conventions and conformism only get you so far (not very, basically). So, it seems to me that Meisner doesn't just make for better actors, but also for better people.

    Lina, has it occurred to you that you might already know a lot about this? I'm not saying you shouldn't go to New York (which sounds like an amazing adventure), but that you can practice here, every day.

    I had a fantastic Chi Kung teacher when I lived in London. When I was about to move to Amsterdam and knew I would not be able to go to his lessons anymore, he told me to 'remember it when I was walking'. Perhaps the same applies to you. <3

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  2. It makes you a better person, at least that is my experience. I know a lot but I have so much more to learn. And you need to be in a group with a teachter who knows what he/she is talking about (at least when you are at my level). I wish it was something I could pratice everyday at home. One thing I can do is improve what I have already learned about myself. Then I think it will be even more fun next time I get up in the chair to repeat. ♥

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